This week’s discussion on choice paralysis was an intricate exploration into the deep philosophical question around free will and the more practical skill of decision making.
There were many offerings as to why humans experience choice paralysis; fear of being wrong, procrastination, rumination to the point of confusion, keeping options open, and more.
‘Choosing one thing is like saying no to everything else.’ - Human Alex
We can look backwards at the path that lead to where we are now, it is a linear progression of singular choices being made or made for us. When we face the future we can see endless possibilities and choices, especially with the world of diverse paths of living hitting us through social media. Do we want it all? Why make a decision and close off options when we don’t know what lies around the corner?
This idea stimulates a procrastinating indecisiveness that can render an individual fearful of commitment and participating in life in its full depth. The idea of a life not lived is probably one of the greatest fears that I have. I want to live as fully as I possibly can. So how do I respond to choice paralysis?
Do we just shoot from the hip and deal with the consequences of our decisions? Sending us through a rapid succession of failures and successes increasing our experience, overall wisdom and therefore an ability to make good decisions.
One idea spoken as we all dispersed home last night was to come back to how you wish to live life. Your values, or what you wish to introduce; it could be joy, trust, integrity, abundance, love, commitment, community, etc. When a choice arises the question of ,what do I wish to see in the world, can set the trajectory towards a world in which these values are fully manifest.
We can remove the goal oriented trajectories and replace it with a set of ways to respond, that allow for a gentle curation of our dynamic unfolding of life. In this way we can release our attachment to the future, learn from the past and be carried by the surprise of the present.
When a choice is not easily made does this mean that the avenue needs to be reassessed? When we are stuck and cannot choose from the menu of pathways, perhaps we need to go bush? How do we know where and what the bush is? What is a signal for the unwalked path? How do we find the new path which is not a path until we have walked it?
Some humans suggested psychedelics, play, going bush, rites of passage, self development work, exploring our fears. What is the closest step that you are fearful of taking? What is on the edge of your imagination? Perhaps this is the first step into the wild unknown of your own unique pathway. The first step into the bush.
The balance of active will and active surrender in decision making. When confronted by choice paralysis, some humans would sit back and observe until the choice became clear. This is the opposite to making short fire decisions. What does the space allow? Or is this a skill that is established after considerable experience of making choices?
There seems to be two skills in navigating options in life. One being the activation of autonomy through the practice of individualised choice making and two being the active surrender and acceptance to open up to the wisdom of our environment, context and our inherent nature. Yet our intuition does play a part in impulsive decision making as well.
It seems there are many ways to explore choice and its paralysis. Not making a decision is an instigator of suffering compared to making a decision and dealing with the consequences. Right or wrong, the failures will teach more than the successes, and if we are not making decisions in fear of failing we can find consolation in the knowing that failures make us a priceless resource of wisdom for ourselves, and our greater community. Let’s be inspired to fail.
So gathering all of these wonderful contributions from all that participated in these discussions we have a rich toolkit to approach choice and choice paralysis. Define the qualities and values we wish to see in the world and make the choice from that position. Surrender to the wisdom of the environment, the collective, the natural rhythm and allow yourself to be directed by its intelligent flow. Play with making quick fire unreasoned choices as a rapid experiential course in failing and succeeding but ultimately perfecting the art of decision making. Then we have the unwalked path that beckons to us when no choices inspire a full body yes. We have fear to direct our trajectory, curiosity to guide us forward, listening and play to discover the joys of the unwalked path.
What more do we need.
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