The freedom in commitment topic had the group exploring the components of choice before countless options, ways of behaving, and trajectories for life. We dipped into micro commitments, longterm unwavering stoic commitments, the fears of lost awareness and opportunity, commitment to self, how checking in with the body and moving like water delivered a more satisfactory result, and how the mind anticipating the future becomes clunky, exhausting and inaccurate.
One participant asked after a long and seemingly tangential exploration of the topic, what about the freedom part, we haven’t spoken to the freedom. There was a literal truth in that we did rely heavily upon exploring commitment and choice. These tools seemed to have more of a tangible utility in which to access the freedom. Freedom itself could have been explored more directly but more existed as a silent partner to the conversation, as if we were describing and exploring the context that creates freedom.
It was mentioned as a quality experienced after making a commitment. Committing to self, having integrity and being true to our word enabled us a certain reliability in authoring ourselves and the lives we wish to live. Committing to self also required a moment of pause, or objectivity to access the freedom to respond rather than be a slave to our reactions. There are many practices that help create that space for the freedom to respond; meditation, mapping the stories that drive us, writing, contemplation, feedback from close relations, etc.
An example of committing to self was given. In the recent floods many of us were called to action. We drove to impacted communities and did what we could. Many people felt overwhelmed with the thought of seeing the carnage and being on the ground soaking up the mud, water and emotional outpourings. One individual chose to stay at home and settle themselves as part of contributing to the collective processing of the event. This was a commitment to themselves with constructive meaning making.
This is important and necessary, however, as the conversation proceeded we wondered about the sticky part. The practice of nurturing ourselves and staying in our comfort zones compared to leaning into fear, the unknown and discomfort in order to discover something new. Both sides have extremes and therefore need an active balance in both. The sticky part is the space between stimulus and response where we either react or respond. What do we experience and how do we know when to lean into discomfort or fallback to do what is comfortable?
Fear seems to be something common that is experienced at the threshold of the unknown and reasoning is created to avoid these fears.
‘the thing you fear the most has already happened.’ - Robin Williams and perhaps others.
We tend to lean heavily upon reasoning to make decisions yet even when the reasoning is so concrete our hearts and intuition can be strongly suggesting the opposite choice. In the Landmark self development platform the fears of something that ‘might’ happen is called an inauthentic fear and an authentic fear would be a brown snake curled up in your lap, a present and real danger. Doing it anyway no matter the inauthentic fear creates an opportunity to change the story.
Many thought leaders are suggesting that reasoning is overrated and has contributed to the fractures within todays society and environment.
How do we open ourselves beyond reasoned decision making?
The metaphor of boxing was helpful in establishing an effective decision making process and illustrate the differences to a reasoned decision and an intuitive one in the moment. If you are tight and tense in your body, you are likely anticipating the opponent, the future, leaning back on past precedents and reasoning to predict an outcome. You are ducking and weaving even before a strike has been made and a lot of energy is being exhausted. When we relax our bodies and mind, breath and gently observe our opponent we move naturally to the present signals given in each moment. Energy is conserved for the authentic stimulus. Is it possible to approach life like this? Trust that we will respond in the right way and if not trust that we will learn and then respond in the right way next time. Perfecting a relaxed state at the threshold of commitment gives us strength to chose what will contribute to our evolution.
What about the freedom? In making a commitment we free up the energy previously used to seek, reason and weigh up the options. We release the tension of predicting an outcome and fall into the flow of a new experience. Energy returns to present awareness, sensuality and joy. We dive into the flow of a river with every commitment we make. We are free because we have chosen the ride and now are on the road to somewhere.
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