The topic ‘baddies’ is a comment on the childish game of ‘goodies’ vs ‘baddies’. As adults we still play this polarising dynamic of good and bad. It is still a childish game yet we take it more seriously in our older years. So what is the function of ‘baddies’? Who are they? Do they exist as a real life entity or as a useful delusion?
The two discussions we had this week were totally different. In the first discussion we explored the use of ‘they’ as a convenient form of othering and how to get curious towards behaviour that we judge as bad. In the second discussion we explored bad behaviour in sexual advances and ways in which we can approach this issue that doesn’t end up perpetuating the behaviour through shame or cancelling. Interesting how both of these discussions took us away from any great conspiracy of baddies but directed our attention to local issues we can have agency over.
The convenience of ‘othering’, a perfect container to project all the disowned aspects of ourselves. In Jung’s words it would be called the shadow. What we do not accept within ourselves we do not accept externally from us. All things made inappropriate by society, our parents, teachers and ourselves. If we are unaware of this intrapersonal othering then we unconsciously battle the baddies.
Are you a ‘goodie’ or a ‘baddie’?
‘I am a goodie.’ - human
‘I am about 80% to 20% goodie/baddie.’ - human
‘I am definitely 50/50 and the majority of the 50% baddie lies within my unconscious as a blindspot.’ - human
So if we are aware of this human technology can we activate our curiousity when identifying baddies and use it as an opportunity to unlock parts of ourselves. With every shadow aspect comes our golden shadow; attributes we admire and worship that are often the other side of our disowned parts.
An example of bad behaviour was brought forth to play with.
A big Retriever pup is off its leash as another littler dog starts yapping aggressively at it. The owner picks up her yappy dog.
The owner of the Retriever says, ‘sorry’.
‘It’s ok, I can see that you are struggling.’ - says yappy dog owner, obviously a little upset at her dog being disturbed.
I perceived this as bad behaviour, as a passive aggressive attack on the Retriever owner.
In my sense-making she is a baddie. Now, if I understand my judgement as a consequence of what I don’t accept within myself, how can I start a conversation to understand and therefore access the treasure that lies in the shadows? How can I initiate this conversation without triggering them or telling them what I think is wrong about their behaviour?
The group offered different ideas. Get to know her, ask her if she is struggling, treat her as if she is struggling, perhaps she needs support and love? All of these examples either seemed inauthentic, or something that engages a long and winding path to perhaps gaining a little insight.
Landmark, a personal development platform, has an effective method of engaging in a conversation with volatile potential that allows objectivity to explore each others ongoing stories.
‘I have been inauthentic. I have a story that what you said to that lady was passive aggressive.’
This gives the lady an opportunity to detail the story that led to her expression. Clarification and understanding can result.
This particular focal point of the conversation was super interesting as we found something about our human condition that does not get much detailed attention and curiosity. Although we didn’t totally solve the hypothetical puzzle we presented it and activated the cogs of curiosity to sing for weeks after the human group.
The second discussion started off quite hilariously as one human assumed that the use of ‘they’ and ‘them’ was referring to gender fluid identity pronouns and they didn’t understand how they were connected to the topic ‘baddies’.
I took a backseat in this intimate conversation of the three of us, contributing little bits here and there when the space opened up. We discussed understanding the murderer within and bad behaviour in regards to sexual advancements.
If we identify the murderer within us then it is likely to be recognised and unlikely to sneak up on us. Would the holocaust have happened if the German people recognised the killer within? Who knows? But perhaps we can prevent further tragedies at the hands of the hidden killer by understanding this real aspect of us all?
Inappropriate behaviour in the way that men engage with women is a topic of conversation that has taken the MainStage for the last decade or so. How do we deal with sexual assault in a way in which we do not amplify or perpetuate the behaviour with shame or cancel culture? For this can simply build resentment and anger towards the opposite sex. How can we inspire change and respect rather than coerce change through threats of punishment?
Communicating directly with the individual whilst providing a safe and forgiving space seemed to give the baddie the opportunity to admit to any behaviour that negatively affected the other person and replace their ignorance with a new knowing of how to properly respect the other individual’s sovereignty.
The current social climate is not a forgiving one and we are lacking any spiritual authority that speaks of the importance of trust and forgiveness. Therefore confessing any kind of wrongdoing is feared to be met with punitive action and reactive cancelling. What would happen if we created forgiving environments in which to discuss and learn how to respect each others boundaries?
This is a mission of the human group.
This is a topic that requires further investigation but yet again we found a focal point at a frontier of curiosity which will echo through our being consequentially contributing to an effective solution in which all parties win.
This week was rich with energetic investigation and curiosity. Each individual who participates in the human group becomes a catalyst for further in-depth conversations. Contributing to a dynamic evolving sense-making countering the economic narrative wars waged by the powers that be.
Thank you
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