THE TOPIC
This is an open inquiry into relationships.
What curiousities would you like to explore?
The different forms of relationship; open, monogamous, polyamorous, and many more that may not have the convenience of a label?
The ways we receive the world differently and the challenges we are faced with in communication of our subjective perspective and experience of life and relationship?
Patterns and dynamics of relationship and how we expect a relationship to be and how to break free from our old patterns and roles that are not serving us?
What is it to be a good partner, a good lover?
What do you want from a relationship?
Intimacy and attraction, our evolutionary instincts and desires, sex and its many curves, textures and shapes?
Come with your curiousity to explore the many dynamics and aspects of relationship.
Bring forth the questions you’re fearful to ask for the human group is an opportunity to open new channels of communication.
The weirdness we hold back is the weirdness of all humans that is yet to be expressed.
REFLECTION
Love was a central theme in our deep inquiry into ‘relationships’. Each discussion was small and intimate allowing the conversation to tip toe into curious questions and ambitions of relationships.
One of the main themes in this past week’s discussion was how can we utilise the technology of relationship in a way in which launches us into life?
As the stream of collaborative thought unfolded we explored this idea within intimate relationships and relationships at scale that can launch a world our hearts know is possible.
Imagine if the first thing that was acknowledged when moving into a relationship was the absolute ineffability of life and this subjective experience we are having. We do not know who or what we are, where we are going or what will happen next. So it would be more appropriate to think of a lover as a companion upon a journey into the unknown. This unknown may contain an infinite amount of curiosities, pathways, challenges, transformations and emotions.
Can we have an intimate relationship that allows paths to diverge, opinions and curiosities to differ and transformations to occur? Can we love in a way that is unattached but wholly supportive of one another?
This is active love.
There is still the need for boundaries. Our partners are not our slaves to do our bidding and it cannot last as a one way situation. A sharing must occur and an internal locus of control must be practiced as active love.
A respect and trust can be cultivated whilst actively investigating each other in-depth and maintaining an integrity in regards to hearing feedback and compromising when the situation is calling for it.
This is the service of love.
The relationship between control and love emerged as we discussed the different ways people relate to their animals and their children. Allowing space for the animal to be freely expressed by not giving into the temptation to control even when the circumstances are extremely irritable and frustrating.
How do we express our boundaries whilst actively loving in order to maintain a balance in the relationship and an independence?
A clear boundary with another being would be to allow them to play but once it starts to interfere with another’s autonomous choice and action a boundary has been crossed and needs to be expressed for the sake of the balance. This is interesting as most pre-emptive control stimulated by frustration over steps another’s boundary before the antagonist has overstepped. Performing an evil action to stop another’s assumed trajectory of an evil action is evil itself. This is hardly a justified action yet we seem to do it all the time. The quality that is lacking is active love.
Both of the discussions left me full of love and excitement for the potential of relationships and actively loving everyone we engage with. An antidote to fear, control and the subsequent evil it can produce.
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