TOPIC
What are you waiting for? Be somebody!
What is a somebody?
A tall poppy?
The crab that escaped the pot or the crabs still in the pot?
What is it to be somebody and are we all wanting to be somebody?
Is it fame or fortune or simply being recognised as you walk down the street of your town?
Is it to feel a sense of worth, or feeling needed and wanted?
How do we become somebody?
Is being somebody inhabiting an idea that has already existed?
Are we all in a race to be somebody, ignoring who we are?
REFLECTION
What is it to be a somebody?
To pursue a career or a goal, to eventually proclaim; ‘I am a lawyer or a surgeon, that I have completed this or that, I have travelled many lands and experienced all kinds of treacherous escapes and ineffable experiences.’ Or, ‘I want to be somebody to somebody, a small group of friends, an intimate relationship that I can craft and cultivate a bond of security and love.’ Or even, ‘I want to be a somebody to myself; pursue my interests, awaken my nature and unfold my potential, I want to look after my gentle nature and my loyal body.’
We all seem to have a somebody we strive towards, some conscious and some unconscious, some parts detailed and others left open to surprise. Does every striving come with influences of trauma; not being enough to simply belong as we appear in any given moment?
We all scramble and swim in ambiguity to find the balance between our wild wolf of the Steppe and our conditioned player in this imagined civilisation we conform to.
Throughout the discussion we explored all the different ‘somebodies’ we inhabit depending upon the environment and context, when our ‘somebody’ is inauthentic or incongruent with what our being wants to express, and how our society is geared towards being a ‘somebody’ rather than listening to the ‘somebody’ we already are. It was discovered that being a somebody is also a coping mechanism cleverly created to adapt, compensate and defend from sensations, unfortunate meaning making and vulnerability.
Alone and looking out over a wild landscape; a desert or ocean, what do you experience? One human offered their experience of their internal reflection whilst in the presence of raw nature. This inspired a beautiful tool to explore, through metaphor, what it is to be in the presence of our own raw nature. What do you experience when you look out over a dark and stormy ocean, heaving volumes of water across jagged rocks, spiralling torrents to dark airless depths?
Respect, fear, exhilaration? Is this what we experience when courageously being ourselves? Are we entering a volatile environment in which anything and everything is possible and in order to survive we have to sit non-reactively in the fears that unknown territories inspire?
What about our present urban environments, what somebody do they inspire within us? Is it harder to celebrate our animal when the environment rewards the somebodies that fit within the rules? Or can we establish a new somebody by trusting our inherent somebody?
In Ram Dass’ book ‘Grist for the Mill’, in the pursuit of becoming somebody you become nobody because this is a pursuit of an idea built from the past. You become a reiteration of something that has already existed.
In the pursuit of becoming nobody, a self unknown to you or anyone else, you are rendered to a position of observation, surrender and acceptance allowing yourself to show up. A unique somebody, entirely new, relevant and without the constraints of conscious ideas of self.
How do we pursuit becoming nobody?
What would you do if there was nowhere to go, nowhere to be and knowing that you were deeply loved? What environment invokes this surrender to self?
When alone in nature with no other human companions who are you and what do you do? Passing through the threshold of boredom into play, humming a tune, interacting with the worlds of the imagination. What holds us back from pursuing nobody?
Is there a fear of disappearing if we do not play the part of a somebody? Will all that we are holding back spill forth and wreak havoc upon our finely tuned somebody?
We spoke of trauma and inauthenticity. How our coping mechanisms can sweep our authentic expression under the rug and how in Gabor Mate’s new book, ‘The Myth of Normality’, suggests that our battle with ourselves is a big component in the flourishing of auto-immune disease. He goes on to say characteristics such as being extremely nice, self critical beyond fault and self-sacrificing are common to those who have auto-immune complications. The somebody battle with the nobody. The wolf of the Steppe battling with the well dressed professional. Does this suggest that our environment inspires inauthentic somebodies?
Is there a balance?
Perhaps naturally being somebody was easier in a time when we relied more heavily upon one another. Now that we have convenience and technology to service our needs with limited human interaction we are not getting the recognition we need. We are in the age of celebrity and tech CEO worship. The somebody recognition has become monopolised and centralised.
Many of us do not feel like we are inherently somebody worthy of life without the striving to prove it. This is further exemplified with the conditioning structures that reward tangible values; money, career identifies, awards. When we are being a no-one, an unidentified human, we do not fit within these profiling structures. Even social media algorithms work to influence you into a neatly configured identity in order to sell you as a product to advertisers looking for a specific demographic. When we are an unknown entity we are likely compared to the wild and raw natural landscapes from which we originate; volatile, mysterious and disruptive, a threat to control, a symbol of chaos.
There is a balance, a way to influence and disrupt static conditioning structures and it is to make a little room, ideally 50% left to our nobodies, our phenomena, whilst allowing the same space for everybody else. This means consciously understanding that we don’t know who we are, where we are going or what we are capable of. It readies us to forgive the animal, the wolf whilst observing its nature and using our will to align it with the right environment.
Another point is human interaction. In relationship we are inherently somebody and if there is a hunger to be somebody, there is a hunger to be in community. To cultivate a safe space to feel held in our nobody-ness.
‘Be a somebody’ ignited interest in all that participated, creating a super rich collaborative perspective jam. Thank you all x
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