TOPIC
When have you left your self behind?
Did schooling lever you from your will?
Are you used to tending to those around you?
Or does it come from a mixed feeling when in a group, becoming influenced to go with the majority rather than stand your ground? A greater momentum powering a hive mind.
When do we act as a collective and when do we need to stand up for ourselves and our own ideas?
As discussed in previous human groups; our inability to be our authentic selves in the face of influence may well be a driver for our individually focused society.
How can we tend to our most faithful companion, the one that never leaves our side; our selves?
How can we create a narrative that sees this cultivation of relationship ripple out causing a wave of authentic re-organisation that create ecosystems of empowered individuals?
Returning to ourselves in the face of influence may be how we become a community focused society.
REFLECTION
This week’s discussions were rather flexible and casual with two very small and intimate groups. We spoke of many ways in which we can abandon ourselves; influence from groups, peers, family and society, looking good, avoiding embarrassment, fitting in, pleasing others, blaming others for our own emotional reactions and abandoning ourselves in intimate relationships.
What is abandoning self?
When we react or respond in a way in which we do not consider our own wants, needs or values. We take on the responsibility and shoulder the work in a form of self-sacrificing.
Abandoning self can be an attempt to belong, look good, be loved or liked, not want to displease others, etc.
The costs of such reactions can lead to resentment, anger, reclusiveness and a pressurised shadow self that can lead to all kinds of outbursts and addictions.
Abandoning self can also lead to losing contact with ourselves; lost in the infinite pleasing masks we wear.
So what is the opposite to abandoning self?
Holding the self, honouring the self, standing up for ourselves, confidence, empowerment, autonomy, independence, etc.
In my own experience of abandoning self, I developed a craving for independence and autonomy that has consistently lead me away from community over and over again, so as to get in touch with who I am without influence. Installed through years of abandoning self due to the code of education and upbringing being in the form of breaking the will. The breaking of the will allows for an empty vessel to be filled with societies required roles. If the will is not successfully broken, the system simply constructs an internal battle between the self and the idea of who we are meant to be. A life long attempt at controlling a wild animal that does not wished to be tamed is a dysfunctional relationship. In many ways this illustrates societies dysfunctional relationship with nature and the environment.
After travelling the world and finding my own strength in autonomy I came back to integrate with society attempting to be strong in the face of influence and honour my self. The battle against influence is a spiritual war that is fought by the peaceful warrior; the masterful companion to the self. This potential aspect within us all maintains a strong connection with our selves whilst participating whole heartedly within society, community and intimate relationships.
Every decision is consulted with the self before committing.
Is there a time to abandon the self and join the collective flow?
Considering self every time may be a time drain and disrupter to flowing with the influential energies in a present moment. However, it is like any practice; it begins slow and then becomes second nature.
What do you do when you are completely out of touch with your self?
This busy world seems to stem from our busy minds and when the bandwidth is chockablock with ideas, things to do, to be, questions to answer, tasks to complete, perfecting life, relationship, passive entertainment, social media, etc. Our minds are flat-out whirring away at a speed that is unsustainable. We lose contact with our nature, with our inherent self.
To get back in touch requires space in the mind. Unblocking the bandwidth by limiting stimulus; this can be done through meditation, camping with no phones, limiting passive entertainment, physical exercise, discussion, creative process, spotlight focus, wandering focus and slowing down life. Most of our busy-ness comes from our busy minds, life and nature moves at a steady pace. We can find a balance in which we share our bandwidth with thoughts, questions, entertainment and space for insight, imagination, listening to drop in.
We simply outpace ourselves stimulated by a society abandoning nature.
Honour nature, honour yourself.
Love x
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